“‘Cause you can’t jump the track / we’re like cars on a cable”

Dear Recently Promoted Secondary Character, No, I’m sorry, but you can’t have All the Things. Mad fighting skills: denied. Mad healing skills: denied. We’re going for interesting here, not unrealistic. Seriously, most people would be content with the mad flying skills. I promise you’ll get to use them, by the end. Me P.S. What? No. Promotion to protagonist denied with prejudice!