Dear Secondary Character Who Sets the Story in Motion,
You may be evil, but the scenes you’re in, they write themselves.
Who wouldn’t put up with a bit of evil for that?
Dear All Characters With Any Dialogue Whatsoever,
There’s a difference between damming a river and damning a river.
I know it all sounds the same to you, but think of the manuscript pages, will you?
Thank you for your consideration.
Lyrics from Mary Chapin Carpenter’s mistitled but nonetheless evocative “Iceland”