Dear Book,

I don’t suppose you’d consider writing yourself, would you?

Just this once?



Dear Character Whose Rich and Detailed Backstory Can’t Seem to Protect Her From Getting Edited Out of the Frontstory,

You’ve only been on stage for five minutes and two nameless glancing mentions in three books. What am I supposed to do with you and all I (but no one else) know that you’ve been through?

Okay, actually, I know exactly what I’m supposed to do with characters like you.

But you’re going to have to wait. A really long time. If that’s what you really want.


P.S. Alternately, I could give you a third glancing mention Right Now. What do you say?

P.P.S. Or I could just turn you into a bird. That’s always an option, too.

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