About your human

Your human is not a toy. May contain moving parts and independent thoughts. Owner’s manual not included. While the typical lifespan of a human is 60-90 years, you accept your human as-is. We will not repair any flaws in craftsmanship. All humans contain flaws in craftsmanship. Should a replacement be required, you must obtain one at your own cost. There is no warranty on your human. We are not responsible for broken hearts, poorly worded bargains, or banishment from the Realm. You are fully responsible for all spells, tithes, transformations, and hastily-made promises. All humans are hastily made. Tears and tantrums possible. Fragile, may break if dropped. Do not let your human operate heavy machinery while under glamour. Results will vary. Do not add water. Do not say we didn’t tell you so. Void and prohibited and really you ought to know better. Not valid in Alaska, Hawaii, the continental United States, or anywhere else outside the True Lands.

(Because humans aren’t the only ones who could do with a few warnings and protections.)

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