Dear Antagonist Who Is Still Kinda Creeping Me Out,

So, seriously, you need to tell me what you plan to do with all these characters who have fallen under your power.

I appreciate that you’re a clever antagonist, the sort of antagonist who has surely read the Evil Overlord List and knows better than to reveal all her plans to the protagonist. I admire you for that.

But I’m not the protagonist. I’m the writer. And if you don’t tell me, then none of your plans will ever come to fruition, because I won’t be able to tell your story. If you want to have a chance here, you need to at least give me a few hints.

I’ll be here in the corner, reworking the section right before we see you again, whenever you’re ready to talk.

Me

P.S. Yes, I understand that as the antagonist, your chances of succeeding are slim regardless, and I can appreciate that this, too, may make you reluctant to talk to me. But slim chances are better than no chances, right? Besides, I already let you kill someone. Anything could happen.

P.P.S. Well, okay, anything but that. I won’t let you do that.