Sadly, they’re suffering from the effects of a lack of proper unicorn role models.
It’s understandable. Unlike zombies, who are all mostly the same (some decaying faster than others, sure, but all in all), there’s a huge range of variation among unicorns, which is what happens when, you know, you have a brain of your own instead of having to eat the brains of others. So if your only unicorn role model was, say, this —
— (or, worse, this), you might be under the mistaken impression that unicorns are all about the frolicking and the glitter. Now, I like glitter as much as the next person, but still, a far better role model might be this unicorn —
— bravely fighting to the last at the Cloisters.
My favorite fictional unicorn, though, is probably Gaudior from A Swiftly Tilting Planet–aligned with the powers of good, fighting to save the world, but also not someone you mess with. Besides which, he can fly! (That would, umm, be where the glitter comes in.)
Who are your unicorn role models?