Spoil me!

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Draco Malfoy becomes a hermit recluse in the study, with the lead piping
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

The whole focus on “who dies?” in Harry Potter does seem rather to miss the point to me–and to be a sort of game-like scorekeeping that pulls attention away from the more interesting question for any book: “Will it be any good?”

But that said, if we’re going to keep score and take bets, I’d like to suggest a new game. Let’s assume that even asking “Who dies?” is an act of charming but misplaced optimism, because after so great a battle–a battle for the very fate of both the wizarding and muggle worlds–the casualties are of course far too numerous to count.

So instead, there is nothing left to do but ask, “Who lives?”

I’m betting on Hermione as the only one left standing when the dust clears. Because, as it turns out, it actually does pay to do your homework. (What, you think all those assignments Ron and Harry and everyone else at Hogwarts skimped on were just busy work?)

But don’t take my word for it. Who do you secretly know will be the few brave survivors of that final battle?

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