What would you be if you weren’t a writer?

deborahb on being a writer:

The only time I’ve ever spent not-writing & losing-faith have been when I’ve tried to Be. A. Writer. All my energy & angst went into trying to work out how to Be. A. Writer. I looked around at all the models of writers I saw & knew, & I didn’t recognise myself in any of them. I was new & green & worried. I was not writing a thousand words a day, nor was I turning out a gem each two years that was being lauded by WFA judges or Hugo boards or anything like it. I counted up my published stories & there weren’t that many (I think it was ‘one’) & I didn’t feel any better than I had when I’d had no stories published & I knew then that the whole ‘published writer’ gig hadn’t changed the world, not even my world, not even my mood for more than a week. I wanted the label to work so I didn’t have to look at myself.

(Link by way of buymeaclue.)

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