So far this is feeling very right. I do like writing braided stories, so that aspect of it is pretty comfortable. And as we add a second viewpoint, some bits in the first become more clearly irrelevant, and can be cut.
Short story, continued
The 9500 word short story is now a 6500 word short story, and I’ve just realized it needs a second viewpoint to work properly. (Hard to tell a love story one-sided, really.) This won’t add as many words as it seems–several existing scenes already want her POV–though braided stories are always dangerous, length-wise.