Because forgiving doesn’t mean you stop thinking about it

I stumbled upon this post of kathlaw‘s today.

I remember that birthday celebration. I remember enjoying the good company; and enjoying the fact that we were all connecting again, after some time both being occupied with our own lives.

And I remember this conversation, between Katherine and another friend there:

Thanks! As one mutual friend whose birthday is end of January when she’ll achieve my years said, next year we’ll start having adventures as we’ll hit the age Bilbo and Frodo both did before they set off. 🙂

Katherine did not sound, at the time, like someone who was going to quietly, carefully go out and kill herself three and a half months later. Possibly she didn’t feel that way, either. Depression is strange stuff, with the way you’re mostly okay except when you’re very much not.

But I did think of that conversation, at some point not long after Katherine died. And I was angry and saddened she hadn’t hung around to have those adventures.