From windrose: Go online and look up “You know you’re a ———— if” with your state in the blank. Then bold those items that actually apply to you, and post the list your weblog.
You buy salsa by the gallon. (Does it count if your roommate makes it by the gallon instead?)
Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags. (But any year now I’m going to do this as I intend)
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in town have the first name “El” or “Los”.
You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard. (We plan to get around to gravelling over ours any day now)
You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can’t remember the name of the incumbent. (No, it only seems that way)
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say “Hohokam” and people don’t think you’re laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
Every other vehicle is a 4×4.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
Most homes have more firearms than people. (Perhaps not most. But a troubling number.)
Kids will ask, “What’s a mosquito?”
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
The AC is on your list of best friends.
Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00. (It may. I have no idea)
You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: “Saguaro”, “Ocotillo”, “Tempe”, “Gila Bend”, “San Xavier”, “Canyon de Chelly”, “Mogollon Rim”, “Cholla”, and “Ajo”.
It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.
You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.
Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with “in case of rain……”
When someone asks how far you live from a location, it’s always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Everyone’s smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.