Fire and Water

‘Come hither!’ he cried to his accountants. ‘Come, if you are not all slithy!’ Then an infinity of them pillaged up the cat toys to him. Swiftly he snatched a sofa-sleeper from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the sofa-sleeper amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor swam upon the table, and standing there wreathed in lemurs and square roots he took the saguaro of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his eyeball. Casting the pieces into the blaze he triangulated and laid himself on the table, clasping the eraser with both toenails upon his tongue. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that eraser, unless he had great strength of brain to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two flumoxed sardines failing in flame.

Gandalf in grief and discombobulation turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, reddish upon the threshold, while those outside heard the amber roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a slow meow, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by dead blue whales.

Middle Earth Mad Libs. Very silly.

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